Courage, bravery, honor

Carlene Lacy holds a picture of her son, Josh Lacy, who was killed in a hit-and-run accident six months ago. The box in front of her, what she calls a "memory box," holds pictures of her son as well as other keepsakes that remind her of Josh, such as his football chin strap and birthday card Josh made for her. (The Daily Triplicate/Bryant Anderson).

By Nicholas Grube

Triplicate staff writer

In April, the Lacy family received a letter from a 36-year-old Oregon man named Geof, telling them how their 15-year-old son, Josh's, organ donation saved his life.

"Your loved one has given me a second chance at life, I will always think of your loss. I want you to know your loved one's selflessness has had an amazing affect on my life, family and friends," the hand-written letter reads. "I'll be a healthy 36-years-old this May and have so much to look forward to due to your loved one's generosity."

Josh Lacy died six months ago when he was struck by a hit-and-run driver on U.S. Hwy. 101 on a cold, winter morning. As of yet, the California Highway Patrol has not arrested anyone and is still investigating the incident.

But with his death, Josh brought life, donating his liver, his kidneys and his heart to four people in need.

"The courage and the bravery and the honor," Josh's mother Carlene Lacy said of her son's decision to be an organ donor, "15-year-old kids don't do that. He should have been thinking about girls and football and driving."

Carlene said Josh was always fascinated with organ donation, even from a young age. When Josh was 8-years-old and living in Arizona, his best friend's dad needed a heart transplant. Josh would inquire his mother as to what would happen if his friend's dad didn't get a new heart, and Carlene told him that if he didn't get it, his friend wouldn't have a dad anymore.

"That was an impact that he had in his life. If that wasn't there," Carlene said, "he never would have understood the whole concept of someone needing an organ."

When Josh was 14-years-old, he had another experience that made an impression on him. His father, Jeremy Lacy, had just received his pink organ donor stickers in the mail, and Josh told his parents that he wanted to be an organ donor too.

"It's just what he wanted and if he never would have said that, we never would have done it," Carlene said.

Each of Josh's organs went to individual people. His liver went to 36-year-old Geof, one kidney went to a 64-year-old man with a kidney disease, the other went to another 36-year-old man with an autoimmune disorder and his heart—which is mother calls "perfect"—went to a 14-year-old boy in Northern California.

"We have reason to believe that Josh's heart went to Stanford," Carlene said, which is where Josh always wanted to go to college. "He was talking about it in the third grade, saying he wanted to go to Stanford."

She said a medical team from Stanford came to recover Josh's heart while he was in the pediatric intensive care unit in a Portland hospital, and that the only person scheduled for surgery that night was a boy from Stanford.

"It fits. He was the only one left there that night," Carlene said. "He was the only one scheduled for surgery that night."

While that 14-year-old boy was waiting for her son, Josh's, heart, Carlene said she could feel the same anxiety that his mother probably had at the same time, wondering if her son would survive.

"As I was getting told that my son wasn't going to make it, that mom was in my shoes. And, by a miracle, was given a second chance that we didn't have. We didn't have the opportunity for a second chance," Carlene said. "If anybody knew how I was feeling, it was her."

The organ donation process can be taxing, as the Lacy's discovered, waiting while doctors remove organs destined to save other, anonymous lives, while the person closest to you dies.

Josh's father, Jeremy Lacy, struggled especially hard with the loss of his son and with the organ donor process.

"We wanted to give someone the gift of life ... And that's what Josh wanted," Jeremy said. "(But) it's probably one of the most painful thing you can do outside of death. You're waiting for someone to come harvest organs."

Jeremy said that he's happy that Josh was able to save the lives of four people, but that it is still difficult to deal with his loss.

"There's gratification knowing that there's someone out there. But it doesn't really give me any satisfaction," he said. "I'm happy for the people but it doesn't do anything for me.

"My loss and their gain, it isn't a wash for me. It doesn't give me anything inside other than the fact that my son was honorable and made the statements that he did for them to have the life that they do now," Jeremy said. "Good for you, but I lost my son, I lost my friend."

But the Lacy family does really care about the people that Josh saved. They chose to have contact with the people who received Josh's organs.

"We wonder about the people everyday," Carlene said, and she hopes that, over time, they will get to meet and know the people her son helped. "We think it would be really good for Jordan (Josh's 13-year-old brother) to see the good things that his brother has done, and to explain them to Jayden (his 1-year-old sister) later on."

Already, Josh's altruism has had a profound impact on his younger brother Jordan, who, while shorter, bears a striking resemblance to Josh. Jordan said he will be an organ donor just like his brother. And his reason, too, is a simple one.

"Josh is my brother, we do everything together."

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