
Opinion
Gopher Gulch: Nasty little bug |
Ordinarily Gopher Gulch, the column, gets born on the weekend. I get an edgy, almost pre-labor feeling when it’s time to sit down at the computer. But this time is different. This one is starting days early, and I’m afraid it’s gonna be a long labor.
The weather is lovely! I want to be out playing so bad I can hardly stand it. Unfortunately, I can hardly stand. I don’t think I’m a special case, so it must just take a long time to recover from the bug that is making many of us miserable. Even though this seems to be a two-week bug rather than a one-week bug, I’d be willing to add a third week if only I could postpone it until November. The bug that bit me causes non-stop coughing, with a lot of clear phlegm, especially if you take an expectorant, which is a good idea. The more of that crap you can get up and out, the quicker you’ll get well and the less likely you are to develop pneumonia or pleurisy. Suppressing a cough does more harm than good. Flicker has been calling for hours, coaxing me out to play. His call is so compelling I confess to being teary about my inability to do so. I cry all the time anyway, but weakness doesn't help. Flicker has taught me a game. I pry a hunk of bark off a dead trunk, then back away while he eats the creepy-crawlies I've exposed. Like any responsible pet owner, he’s been training me for years.
On the outside of my windows are the biggest, most beautiful spiders
I’ve ever seen. The lady who occupies the southeast window has banded
legs well over an inch long, and the white markings on her back are
visible with even my naked, myopic eyes. When I put my glasses on, the
more subtle hues, the beauty of the patterns, the banded fur on her
legs, are clearly visible. She's huge! She spends a lot of time on the
window side of her web, showing off her markings and hovering near her
egg sack.
I’ve never been sick this time of year and I hate it, but I’ve stumbled upon a technique that might help others with chest congestion and ribcage pain. I can’t see how it could hurt you, but you should always check with a qualified medical person if you do that sort of thing. While the coughing has become sporadic rather than constant, I coughed hard enough to tweak soft tissue or crack a rib. Most of us know how painful that is, and every cough is torture. If it’s medically safe for you to apply warmth to your ribcage, a heating pad at your back might offer comfort. What a hoot that some people are afraid of the huge spider at the window, while it’s this nasty little bug invisible to the naked eye that’s trying to kill us. |