Coastal Voices Guest Opinion: Arrest did its damage

This past year has been surreal. Phrases once taken for granted, like “innocent until proven guilty,” are now painfully laughable.

Within 24 hours of being arrested, I was tried and convicted in the media. Before I ever saw a judge, or heard the actual charges, people from Gold Beach all the way to Eureka, were hearing a vilifying, sensationalized version from the radio, television and newspaper.

Business-wise, the damage was done no matter the final outcome. Personally, it was just beginning.

The following six months of court dates ended with a dismissal, but it felt like six months of walking in the dark, never knowing what was coming or when the bottom might fall out.

Business almost stopped completely, Christmas sales were non-existent and every month posed the question, “Will this be the month we close a business I’ve had open for 12 years?”

Financially it became extremely difficult. Resourcefulness became an art form and humility the underlying theme.

Emotionally, it was devastating.

I have lived in Crescent City most of my life. I consider it home and felt safe as a valued community member. After my store was burglarized in 2006, the thieves were caught, confessed and then never prosecuted. I did not get all of the stolen items back and I was out the $5,000 in repairs it took to repair the storefront. I started to think I wasn’t as safe or valued in this community as I thought.

After being arrested and treated like a criminal, I don’t know that I will ever feel safe again. Suddenly, everything changed, leaving me filled with anxiety and panic. I feel judged, chastised and hated.

After I was released (on my own recognizance, not released on $10,000 bail as was reported), I went home and tried to keep it together. I felt anybody can accuse you of something and you go to jail. I felt like due process is a joke. I feel like it really is all about who you know and what strings you can pull. I didn’t feel safe in my own home. I felt like they could come and take me away anytime they wanted. I felt like everyone believed what was being said, that I was some horrible person.

I felt like my 20 years of being a jeweler were suddenly meaningless. I knew my reputation had been forever tainted in an instant. I was terrified of losing my family, my livelihood, my life as I knew it. I felt guilty that my family had to go through it with me, that my kids were scared and that my wife went to work keeping the store open because I could not go back there. I still won’t go to the store I worked so many years to build. I just feel too vulnerable there.

More than just a business owner, first and foremost I am an artist and I want more than anything for my customers to be pleased with my work. Running a business, handling customers, all while making and repairing jewelry by myself hasn’t always flowed as smoothly as I would like, but I did my best to keep my customers happy because I live here, I’m raising my family here. If I have an unhappy customer, I’m going to see them at the grocery store, or my kids’ school or any number of places in this small town.

I don’t enjoy conflict. I’ve gone above and beyond to keep my customers happy because that’s how I like them.